This week’s interview as part of my series with Life Coaches is with the amazing Corinne Worsley. Corinne is passionate about “empowering, encouraging and emboldening women to rediscover and live from the truth of who they are”. And isn’t that super-powerful? I think so. Having already interviewed three other life coaches to understand what coaches in general do, how they work, and how they can help, I wanted to dig a little deeper and talk to Corinne about core values.
Life values. The main reason being that I’ve come across this question a few times through various types of self-help material: “Are you living your life according to your values?” Honestly? I’d love to say yes. And I’d love to give you a list of words that I think might be values. But equally, I’d probably be saying things I feel I should say, rather than things that are really true for me.
So I asked Corinne to help me navigate these uncharted waters.
What are values anyway and why do they matter?
“Values are what motivate you in life. They are what guide you along the path of fulfilment, so essentially your values are the foundation of who you are. Being aware of what your values are is important because once you understand what’s at the core of who you are, you can then strive to live in alignment with that. In turn, that makes you a happier, more fulfilled person, not just for friends and family to be around, but also someone who can achieve greater things in life.”
Do you like the sound of that? I do.
So how can you find out what your values are?
Corinne was telling me that a method that she has seen other coaches use is to provide the client with a list of feelings and ask them to circle the words that they think apply to them. In all honesty, this is where I’d see myself 1) feeling conditioned to answer what I think I should answer and 2) giving answers which I’d probably change if I was to do the same exercise a day or two later.
Focus on your experiences
So I really liked Corinne’s alternative, more practical and pragmatic approach! Corinne helps her clients to identify life values by inviting them to think about a few times (5 or 6) when they have felt joy or happiness. The client writes these down and only then can start to think about and perhaps discuss with Corinne which values were met through those activities. In essence, they can then start to identify what led them to feel joyful and fulfilled.
An example that Corinne kindly shared with me from her own experience is when she was able to identify Passion as one of her values. She did this by reflecting on how excited and passionate she felt during the London 2012 Olympics. Had she not done this exercise, she admitted she wouldn’t have thought of Passion as one of her values! Isn’t this powerful?
Focus on your feelings
Another way that Corinne uses to coach clients into identifying their values is inspired by the work of Danielle Laporte and the book The Desire Map. The idea here is to focus on the way you want to feel. Think about this – you may be familiar with setting a goal for yourself, for example. Maybe a job promotion or reaching a certain salary. You achieve that goal, but you’re not feeling as happy and fulfilled as you thought you would. Sounds familiar? I’m sure we can all think of a time or two in life when this happened to us? So flip this on its head and think about how you want to feel (not about what you want to achieve), and then derive the goal from there, rather than the other way around. Makes sense?
How do we then use this information?
It might not surprise you to learn that, as we grow and change, our values also shift and change, so identifying your life values may not be something that you do only once in life. But, as Corinne says, “coaching is very much about raising one’s self-awareness“, so the minute you become aware of these strategies and start developing more of a habit to tune into yourself more, it should become easier to understand when tweaks might be required.
The ultimate goal, however, (and we shouldn’t forget this) is to bring more joy into your life. The reason why we might decide to do these exercises and go down this path of self-discovery, with or without the help of a coach, is to be able to experience more of what we want and spend more time feeling how we want to feel.
And why does this matter so much? Because, as Corinne puts it, “it’s the small things that matter. They add up to the big things. Making little changes leads to a massive difference in the way we feel. Which is why it’s so important for the client, with the help of the coach, to come up with an action plan.”
So here you have it. Spend some time working on finding out what your life goals are and you may effectively start enjoying life more!
I’ll take it, thanks!
Have you ever worked with a Life Coach? Would you consider it? Do you know what your life values are and whether you’re living by them?